#bonobos and some other animals do this too

[insomniac-arrest]

I do think the funniest theory on why humans started kissing is definitely the germ swap theory. While romantic/sexual kissing is not universal, non-romantic kissing is well-established across history and cultures as a form of affection. One of the theories behind our kiss-kiss-fall in love dynamics is that it allows for microbe exchange and microbiome balancing [same link above]. They balancing the dang humors through a mwah.

really was just, "I love you. GERMS be upon yee"

[foone]

Alternative names for humanity along the lines of "Homo sapiens" (Wise man) and "Pan narrans" (Storytelling Chimpanzee) that I'm too lazy to look up/make up Latin for:

chef ape

throwing ape

walking ape

The idea being that we're apparently unique in the animal kingdom in that we cook our food, so we're the Chef Apes. We're also one of the best animals at throwing things: humans have more accuracy and strength when throwing stuff than other apes, by a long shot

And apparently our ability to walk slowly for ages was key to our early survival as persistence predators. We can't outrun a gazelle or mammoth or whatever, but we don't tire easily and so we can just keep following it until it runs out of stamina

Pan basipila: the baseball playing Bonobo

If only baseball had a cooking element, it would be the perfect Human Sport.

We need to devise a sport where you cook something, follow someone for a long time, and then throw it at them.

The most human thing is the surprise pie to the face

Also as much as I like Terry Pratchett's suggestion of "Pan narrans" I wouldn't be surprised if we turn out to not be the only animal that tells stories...

Elephants. I bet elephants do.

Like, there was that case where an injured elephant went to a ranger station for help. One it had never been to before, but other elephants had.

The theory being then that some other elephant had told this elephant "hey if you're hurt, go here, the humans will help"

That, combined with how they have burial rituals (some which might indicate there's an elephant religion!), and that we're working on figuring out how elephants communicate...

It wouldn't surprise me if we learn sometimes in the next decade or two that "oh yeah, elephants tell stories too. They've got FICTION."

So "Pan narrans" isn't what I'd want to bet on as our uniquely human thing.

But at the end of the day, maybe the whole idea of there being a uniquely human thing is, in itself, just another story we're telling.

So maybe it is a good fit after all.

But I especially like the idea that we're the Baseball Ape because I have this image in my head of a galactic council of aliens. Some angry alien who looks like Cthulhu had a baby with a spider has the floor, and they're ranting about "why do the Hu-mons deserve a seat?"

The Crogath are stronger, the Eldru are smarter, the Cybernetic Essense lives longer, the Dromans go farther and faster, the Moltriri have us beat in fiction and poetry, what is so special about these damn bipedal fleshbags that makes them unique in the universe?

And then WHAM. Right between the eyes. A handheld translator device, a bit bigger than a modern smartphone, beans the speaker out of nowhere.

And there's an (untranslated) yell in the chamber as the prime representative calls for order.

"WE CAN THROW, MOTHERFUCKER!"

(it takes a while to properly explain the insult. Crogathi (especially drones) don't really have mothers or sexual reproduction, so they don't really get why that would be an insult. It's finally translated as something like "bud-biter")

and it's true. even after the World Series becomes the Galactic Series, no non-human team ever manages to win.

The Eldrul Librarians almost make the cut in 2486 but accidentally piss off the ghost of Colonel Sanders and end up inheriting the Hanshin Tigers' curse.

alien textbooks describe The Colonel as some kind of human patron deity of baseball and cooked avian food, who should not be disrespected at all costs, or his vengeance from his place beyond the grave will be swift and punishing

(they're right)

"Look, we can't PROVE he was why Gemini Noctis went supernova unexpectedly, but given the protests that had happened right beforehand, and the incredible powers ascribed to the human spirits, do you really want to risk it?"

the funniest possible future: humanity gets a key place in galactic politics because we're never able to adequately convince the universe at large that our ghost stories are just that, stories, and they're terrified shitless that we'll unleash spectral torment on them

"humans? look man, living humans are a pushover. you can easily rip them in half, crack their planets with a quark bomb, their ships are little more than tin cans with a tachyon drive taped on the side. but it's not the living humans you have to worry about... it's the ghosts."

"humans are a bit like the Nontilek, with a two-stage lifespan, a grub and an adult. What you think of as "adult" humans is just their infant stage, and they only fully transform once they "die". Once fully hatched into Ghost form, their powers are almost limitless."

you want humans off a colony planet and bomb them from orbit? good luck, now you have a few million ascended humans who can pass through solid matter and can't be killed, and they will never rest until you and your descendants are gone or dead.

you don't believe me? look at this: One of their most popular stories is about them building an empire that spanned a large chunk of their little planet, then having it MURDER THEIR OWN GOD.

It only worked for a few revolutions, and he just came back, promising that one day all of them would join him in the next phase of their lifespan.

They still, to this day, thousands of orbits later, erect little statues of the means they used to execute their deity.

not even the Crogathi, who literally worship death itself, tell stories that frightening to their newly hatched grubs.

Humans are scary, man, stay away and just give them whatever they want.

the rest of the alien's education on the dangers of humans is just a selection of human movies. the sixth sense, poltergeist, ghostbusters, the shining, the devil's backbone, and, of course, field of dreams.

ghosts AND baseball? it's everything they're scared about humans all in one package!

the obvious twist you could do, of course, is simple:

the aliens are right.

humans are a two-phase species where the elder form has immense power but leaves communication and decision making to the younger form, which will be confused and angry if you acknowledge the presence of their elder-stage members among them.

this often leads to them cutting off contact or their elder-stage members causing immense damage through seeming "accidents" on the contacting vessel. This is believed to be some kind of religious prohibition that they are not able to explain.

so it's official contact protocol to pretend you cannot perceive the elder-stage humans among them, and to give them what they want to avoid possible retribution.

No means to combat elder-stage humans has yet been found, and the limits of their power is not known.

All alien captains are required to study the fate of the SS Ennolon, which contacted a lone human craft in the galactic year of 12,783. They had initiated contact and were getting along fine, until the human showed the Droman captain a picture of their "late father".

Captain Droless, accounting for the difficulty in telling humans apart, then pointed at the father sitting in a chair nearby and said "That is them, correct?".

The human looked at the chair, reacted in confusion, then anger, and asked the contacting crew to immediately leave.

It was another 400 cycles before contact could be reestablished between the Droman Federation and the Human Alliance.

the intergalactic guide describes humans as a powerful race of immortal energy beings who have the strange habit of sending their larvae out on missions around the galaxy, occasionally contacting other races, but refusing to acknowledge their elders, except in stories

they seem to frequently put their young in dangerous situations without lifting a hand to help, so this is suspected to be some sort of pilgrimage or coming-of-age ritual.

(From a twitter thread on October 1st, 2022)

[alpaca-clouds]

Why human culture became monogamous

Let me talk about one thing: The reason for the prevailance of monogamy these days. Because I think a lot of people are not quite aware of this.

If you are monogamous, this is not a slight against you - it is simply about the history of it.

Because here is the thing: Homo Sapiens as a species is not monogamous. And all that we can say about our biology so far is, that we are not even a seasonally monogamous species.

To explain: There are species, that are monogamous, or seasonally monogamous. In a monogamous species, animals mate for life. And once they have mated, they will not be interested in any other animal anymore. We actually see this behavior most often in different birds, like some swans and penguins.

There are also species, who are seasonally monogamous. Again, this is mostly seen in birds. Seasonally monogamous species mate once per mating circle and then again do not experience any interest in potential other partners.

The reason that this is mostly seen in birds is probably an evolutionary adaption based on the fact that with birds at least one partner needs to keep the eggs warm, so that the other partner needs to bring in food to the nest.

Homo Sapiens meanwhile are not that. Homo Sapiens do experience attraction to people other than their current partner. And in fact there is a lot of biological evidence, that biologically speaking we have evolved to live in groups and within these groups just fuck whoever.

Biologists have pointed out that the fact that our bodies produce oxytocine in response to sex, which builds trust and produces generally positive feelings towards others. This does seem like an evolutionary adaption to produce closer knit groups.

We can say this, because we can see the same in bonobos - one of our closest relatives in the animal kingdom.

Biologists also assume, that our moaning during sex is actually an adaption to invite others to join us.

And of course we do just know that we will just randomly fall in love and feel attracted to other people independent of our romantic status right now.

So, why is our society geared towards monogamy?

The answer is simply: Patriarchy.

See, monogamy is mostly a result of the patriarchy. Which is also why monogamy mostly sprang up in patriarchal cultures, while not being that prevalent in matriarchal or more egalitarian cultures.

Patriarchy only emerged once we settled down and started owning land. Why exactly it sprang up, we do not really know, but we do know that it ran into one problem: It relied on the patrilinear succession and inheritance. And that is a bit more complicated than matrilinear succession, right?

Because a woman will always know who her children are. It is quite easy to know, given that the woman is the one pressing the child out of her uterus.

A man meanwhile? Well, he cannot know who his children are in a world before paternity tests. At least not unless he makes sure that the woman birthing the child has slept with nobody but him. And hence: Monogamy. At least enforced monogamy for women.

This is also what led to all those other ways of men controlling women. Controlling how they dress and shaming them for whatever thing they might do, that men find attractive. Because it all has to do with this patriarchal fear of not knowing whether a child is yours or not.

Of course it has to be noted that originally this only led to polygyny. So a man, who would take several wives, but control the wives so that they would not sleep with another men. But we do assume these days, that the reason it led to monogamy was, that polygyny made the societies too instable, because it would naturally mean, that some men would not have any women and that was not good.

Hence... Monogamy was what people started to settle on more and more. Including this idea that men somehow owned women.

If you feel more comfortable with monogamy... Sure, fine. Good for you. But I think we really should speak more openly about the fact, that monogamy is something that is based completely in the patriarchy and in the end mostly exists to suppress women. For no other reason.

[axl-ul]

Writeblr (Re)Introduction

Hello! After some time of being inactive, here's a small reintroduction from me:) And I also guess that this is the exact aesthetic I aimed for. Finally!

General info:

(Nick)Name: Axl-ul, but you can address me as Axl^^

Likes: Writing, reading, drawing, crochet, mythologies and folk stories, tea, doggos, cattos, battos (majority of animals that are fluffy)

Stuff I like to listen to: an ENORMOUS range that goes from og dubstep to chillstep to metal to edgy yeehaw dark country (among my fave artists are Bonobo, Nujabes, Burial, Hugo Kant, Sigmun)

Favourite movie: Noroi, The Vanished Empire

Favourite show: Mononoke (2009) it's actually an anime and yes I do consider it a show, Red Dwarf

Favourite book(s): The Witcher saga (Season of Storms was a little bit mid in comparison to the rest, still enjoyed it though), Solomon Kane, The Hobbit, Whiskey, Blood and Silver, The Warlock, Journey to the West (still reading it)

Favourite manga: anything by Junji Ito, Berserk

Favourite games: The Witcher trilogy, DreadOut, Condemned: Criminal Origin, TES V: Skyrim (also slowly getting into Oblivion), Sleeping Dogs, Darkwood, anything made by Fromsoftware (a fanboy)

Favourite genres: horror, mystery, (dark) fantasy, comedy

Favourite tropes: animal companion, found family, rivals to best friends

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Writer info:

Genres I write in: horror, mystery, dark fantasy inspired by world mythologies, dark comedy, my wips might have a touch of detective stories to them, too^^

Tropes I use(d): found family, animal companion, rivals to best friends, rivals to friends to lovers (used only once as I don't like romance that much, why it appears in my wips is a looong story), orphaned MC

POV: 3rd person, multiple POVs with main focus on 1 to 3 characters max

I tend to write in quite a flowery language and in poetic prose, but since English isn't my first language it can come across slightly awkward (TL; DR I do plenty of updates and edits to my posted stuff)

My wips are inspired and sometimes directly refer to a certain mythology, such as Slavic (this one is also most widely used as I like to read local legends of Serbia, Russia, the Czech and Slovak Republic, Ukraine, Poland and so on), Chinese, Nordic, Japanese and Indonesian. HOWEVER I love to create my own mythos and so the world is a blend of characters directly based of a mythological figure exploring environement both familiar and completely new to them. (I've always been intruiged by a question what would happen if world mythologies bumped into each other and what would be the consequences of it.)

My own mythos are pretty much eldritch-like oriented with a significant touch of folk horror. I'm not going to lie, I'm a FromSoftware fanboi, I see Bloodborn or Kuon, I'm going feral and so is my inspiration.

There are many occuring themes about substance abuse, addiction, health issues, gore, extreme violence, sexual assault/rape and other strongly 18+ stuff, so I'd appreciate if only 20+ y.o. people (or be at least 18, really) follow this account. In other words - PLENTY OF NSFW THAT'S NOT DIRECTED AND INTENDED FOR MINORS.

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WIPs

Not all from my wips have a proper introduction (a.k.a. there's no link for their Tumblr WIP intro). BUT I do plan on doing them, so expect the links to be updated. These are just quick summaries of them.

The Flight of the Western Crane - A dark retelling of Journey to the West where Sun Wukong tries to protect the young Buddhist monk Tang Sanzang while meeting a duo of a stranded Princess of the Great Tiger Kingdom and her foreign advisor Lady Wolf Witch. Their common journey starts out as an innocent one. However, it soon evolves into a dangerous chase where the Monkey King must face the worst of his opponents.

City of False Gods - Hybrid of wuxia, mystery and film noir genres set on a fabricated island near Hong Kong. The fiction evolves around the Monkey King who's, after his yet another imprisonment, woken up to a strange world of 1920s where his powers are under a radar by the local supernatural cop unit and is forced to live among the poorest while trying to solve strange happenings in the city. City of False Gods also serves as a sequel to The Flight of the Western Crane.

Empire of Dust - Historical dark fantasy with horror elements set in 330 Constantinople. The story follows two little sisters one of whom is considered neither dead nor alive. One day, Ulfrika sets out for a strange task in order to provide for her dear little sister. Her pure-hearted intention, though, may lead her down the rabbit hole which may devour her sanity.

Ratpeople - An outline idea for a standalone story involving Ulfrika and her time in the Wild West, where the soulless hybrid discovers an eerie town in the desert while chasing after a man who stole one of her horses. The story is related to weird western (mostly its horror and fantasy elements and no sci-fi stuff) and mystery genres and also mythology related things.

Boy Who Chased a Dragon - Another outline story outside the universe of The Legends of No-man's Land. The story takes place on an island of eternal summer and flower bloom, where mythical creatures live peacefully. One day, Dado* loses his pet dragon, a creature his sister gave him for his 8th birthday, in a harsh storm. Now, he sets out for a long journey to retrieve his best friend from the claws of the cruel Ember King.

*because this is still in a process of an outline/1st draft, I'm still not sure about the name, it's only a working name for the protagonist

[adamwatchesmovies]

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (2024)

The worst thing you can say about Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes is that it occasionally spends more time sowing seeds than dealing with its current story. That's not so bad considering its emotional weight, visuals/special effects, performances (let’s remind ourselves again of how much of what we see had to be imagined by the actors when they were shooting) and the conclusion.

Many generations after War for the Planet of the Apes, humans have become feral and apes have formed multiple independent societies. An encounter with a human scavenger (played by Freya Allan) forces a chimpanzee named Noa (Owen Teague) to wander outside his village, where he encounters a group of armed apes headed towards his home. He rushes back, but arrives too late. His father has been killed and everyone else taken captive. As Noa tracks his clan in hopes of rescuing them, “Nova” (they call all the human females Nova) follows him.

Kingdom lasts 145 minutes. Even with that ample running time, it doesn't feel like everything introduced is fully explored by the end. The villain, for instance. Bonobo Proximus Caesar (Kevin Durand) is the self-proclaimed king of the apes and is forcibly assembling them under his rule. We get a good feel for what sort of ape he is, but not enough for us to hate him… even though I think we're supposed to. This new Caesar wants to open this huge, armored door on the side of a cliff. He’s convinced that inside are weapons and knowledge that will allow apes to forever maintain the hold they've gained on the world. Conveniently, getting this knowledge will allow him to continue ruling. Is he power-hungry? Maybe, but there's something about him that's oddly compelling. He’s weirdly charismatic, but it's also that the rightful owners of that vault - humans - are less entitled to it now. Cities are almost completely overgrown. Skyscrapers have been transformed into unusually tall, rectangular mountains covered in vegetation. You see remnants of our civilization here and there, but can’t imagine how it could come back. You wonder if it even should. Apes and other animals have had to endure mankind’s wild ambitions for generations. If it’s so wrong for Proximus - whether he’s good or evil - to have the contents of that vault, then why were humans allowed to create it?

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes feels like two movies that bleed into each other. The first is Noa's quest. The second is a more philosophical story about how we - as partial outsiders - should feel about the world. While searching for his “people”, Noa gains a greater understanding of what role humans played in the planet’s past. Some of the questions that arise have a big impact on him and Nova, but an even bigger impact on us. 

This 10th Planet of the Apes (all of which I think are worth seeing a minimum of one time) ends on a more optimistic note than most of the chapters in this franchise, but I wouldn’t say that it’s a happy ending. It’s uncertain. I’m also going to call it inconclusive, which is a bit frustrating. Then again, the film is well-made, so you don’t feel like it’s just stringing you along. There’s a bigger story being told here, too big for just one movie. I'm willing to wait to see what it is. Am I being generous because of past experiences? Partially, yes, but the fact is, writer Josh Friedman and director Wes Ball want us to sit back and think. There aren’t a lot of big-budget, special-effects-heavy films that do that anymore and I’d like to see it happen more often. Plus, there’s the technical craft on display. I have no idea how much of this film was done on the computer, and how much was done in-camera. Well, the apes, obviously, but when it comes to the backgrounds/environments, I have no idea.

I also continue to admire this series for the way that it manages to make non-human characters so easy to relate to. Before Kingdom, I saw a trailer for Mufasa and was reminded of the live-action Disney Lion King remake from a few years ago. The animals we saw there were these brick walls spouting human-like dialogue. Despite top-notch computer imagery, the whole thing felt fake. The apes we meet in this film feel real.

When Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes shows off its lush forests growing out of decaying cities, you’re happy to let your eyes wander. When it explores the ape civilizations, you’re eager to see more so you can understand how it all works. It propels you through the locations with a relatable story whose conclusion is not what you’d expect (not entirely) by asking surprisingly thoughtful questions about whose planet this is, and who it belongs to. Combined with the performances and special effects that just keep getting better and better, it may not be the best of the new Apes films, but it doesn't feel like a continuation without a purpose. I foresee myself revisiting Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes in the future, particularly when the next chapter comes around. (Theatrical version on the big screen, May 20, 2024)

[queering-ecology]

Eluding Capture: The Science, Culture, and Pleasure of “Queer” Animals by Stacy Alaimo cont.

Pursuing Pleasures, Creating Cultures

“Human-animal dualisms, which reduce animal sex to a mechanistic act of instinct or genetic determinism, should be supplanted with models of naturecultures (Haraway 2003) (60), in which sexual activity is always indivisibly material and social.

“Sex in nonhumans as well as humans, is partly a learned, social behavior, embedded within and contributing to particular material-social environments” such as in an study done on male guppies with the following premise: “On a longer timescale, social environment and ‘learned sexuality’ can have dramatic effects on the expression of species-typical sexual behavior” (Field and Waite 2004) (60).

It is crucial to acknowledge animals as cultural beings, enmeshed in social organizations, acting, interacting and communicating. “An understanding of animal cultures critiques the ideology of nature as resource, blank slate for cultural inscription, or brute, mechanistic force”, this is especially important as demonization and mechanization of animals persists.

“It is no longer feasible to maintain that only humans have culture: there are as many cultures as there are species with cultural behavior because each species is neurophysiologically unique” (Hird, 2004b, 93) (61).

Bagemihl argues that among primates (including humans), “as sexual intercourse becomes more variable, sexual communication systems become more sophisticated” and thus, “it is possible, therefore that sexuality—particularly the fluidity associated with nonreproductive sexual practices—played a significant role in the origin and development of human language’ (69) and that the creation and use of tool in aid of masturbation or “the pursuit of sexual pleasure may have contributed, in some measure, to our own heritage as creatures whose tool-using practices are among the most polymorphous of any primate” (71).

“Indeed, it is difficult not to be impressed with the creativity, skill, tenacity and resourcefulness of a female bonnet macaque who ‘invented some relatively sophisticated techniques of tool manufacture, regularly employing five specific methods to creature or modify natural object for insertion into her vagina” (61).

Certain accounts however have rendered animal sex to be too cultural—the ‘reason’ bonobos have so much sex (same-sex sex included) is to reduce social conflict’. Such ideas fall under the theory of sociosexual behavior meaning “sexual in terms of their external form but…enacted to mediate some sort of adaptive social goal or breeding strategy” (Vasey 2004b, 399). (62).

Such as the idea that same-sex sex among nonhuman primates is merely ‘motor patterns’: ‘motor patterns’ “normally associated with sex are sometimes incorporated into the nonsexual sphere of social communications” (147). “Sexual motivation and social function are not mutually exclusive” (Vasey 2004a, 351) (63).

All other possibilities for the existence of sex between same-sex animals must be ruled out-- other than pleasure-- before it can be understood as sex (63). “Despite over 40 years of intensive research in populations in which females engage in same-sex mounting and courtship…there is not a single study in existence demonstrating any sort of sociosexual function for these behaviors. Rather all the available evidence indicates that female-female mounting, and courtship are not sociosexual behavior. Female Japanese macaques do not use same-sex mounting and courtship to attract male sexual partners, impede reproduction by same-sex competitors, form alliances, foster social relationships outside consortships, communicate about dominance relationships, contain alloparental care, reduce social tension associated with incipient aggression, practice for heterosexual activity, or reconcile conflicts” (Vasey 20004b, 399) (63).

The predominant scientific framework parallels the mainstream environmentalist conception of nature that is ‘both actively de-eroticized and monolithically heterosexual’ (Sandilands 2001, 176).

Erotophobia is clearly linked to the regulation of sexual diversity; normative heterosexuality, especially in its links to science and nature, has the effect of regulating and instrumentalizing sexuality, linking it to truth and evolutionary health rather than to pleasure and fulfillment (64). Queer animals allow us to challenge this concept.

Pleasure here may be understood as “materialist, naturalist, and posthumanist” performativity, that “allows matter its due as an active participant in the world’s becoming, its ongoing ‘intra-activity’” (Barad 2003, 803) (64).

[konomoreextra]

I wrote this in response to a Bigoted YouTube commenter and I believe it holds merit (I would just like to say that I don't really get too much into politics but this year holds a lot for all of us I couldn't vote but this is my opinion thank you)

Well then, I'm sure you'll be glad to know that animals out in nature also exhibit behaviors aligned with the LGBTQ+ community for example, over 1,500 animal species engage in same-sex sexual behavior. here are some notable examples, Bonobos, These primates, closely related to humans, often engage in same-sex interactions, which help maintain social bonds and group harmony, Penguins, Same-sex penguin pairs have been observed adopting and raising chicks together, bottlenose Dolphins, Male bottlenose dolphins form long-lasting bonds with other males, including engaging in sexual behavior, Clownfish, These fish can change sex, with males becoming females when the dominant female dies, Swans, Same-sex swan pairs, particularly male pairs, have been observed forming long-term bonds and even raising cygnets together, Giraffes, Male giraffes often engage in necking, a behavior that can be both a form of combat and a way to establish social bonds, which sometimes includes sexual activity, Japanese Macaques, Female macaques have been observed forming same-sex pairs, engaging in sexual activities, and maintaining close social bonds, and Albatrosses, In some albatross species, female-female pairs have been documented raising chicks together, especially in colonies where there are fewer males. so even if you are right about your look on abortion you're still not right about the LGBTQ plus community because it happens quite frequently in nature as it's been proven time and time again whether or not republicans, Democratics or any other political party wants to say it's not natural it very much is natural, by the way you people should be ashamed of yourself for telling women what they can and can't do with their bodies I understand that there are some women who use and abuse the system that is held to protect abortion rights but some women don't and all that's a lot of them some of them have to get abortions even if they want their babies and all you're doing is putting them through more unnecessary pain there already going through mental trauma through the possibility and the probability of losing their child you don't need to add more by adding bodily pain to it there has already been two deaths due to this we don't need more and we don't need that Awful man in office a person who commits 34 counts of falsification of business records too the first degree, and more importantly Trump was suspected and confirmed by two separate juries of the rape, sexual abuse and forceful touching of Ms. E. Jean Carroll, and even without the confirmation of the two juries it's very likely given how he speaks of his own daughter [ check here: https://youtu.be/8EPEkk6qWkg?si=h849MdRZrPsTVycv [or video title] Gross Things Donald Trump Has Said About His Daughters [by] New York Magazine or @NewYorkMagazine ] or how about those lewd remarks from 2005, form when Donald Trump visited the set of a soap opera and made sexually explicit remarks about groping women two days, just two days before the second presidential debate. here have a transcript of Trump’s comments from the video, [from the article; https://www.politifact.com/article/2016/oct/08/context-donald-trumps-lewd-remarks-2005/ [or] In context: Donald Trump’s lewd remarks from 2005 [written by] Angie Drobnic Holan [on] October 8, 2016 ]

Trump: "I moved on her actually. You know she was down on Palm Beach. I moved on her and I failed. I’ll admit it. I did try and fu*k her. She was married."

Unidentified man: "That’s huge news there."

Trump: "No, no. Nancy. No this was— And I moved on her very heavily. In fact, I took her out furniture shopping. She wanted to get some furniture. I said, ‘I’ll show you where they have some nice furniture.’ I took her out furniture– I moved on her like a bit*h, but I couldn’t get there. And she was married. Then all of a sudden I see her, she’s now got the big phony tits and everything. She’s totally changed her look."

Bush: "Sheesh, your girl’s hot as shit, in the purple."

Trump: "Whoa! Whoa!"

Bush: "Yes. Yes, the Donald has"

(unintelligible)

Unidentified man: "Wait, wait you’ve got to look at me when you get out and be like ... will you give me the thumbs up? You’ve got to put the thumbs up."

(crosstalk)

Trump: "Alright, you and I will walk down."

(unintelligible)

Trump: "Maybe it’s a different one."

Bush: "It better not be the publicist. No, it’s her. It’s her."

Trump: "Yeah, that’s her, with the gold. I’ve got to use some Tic Tacs, just in case I start kissing her. You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. I just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything."

Unidentified man: "Whatever you want."

Trump: "Grab them by the pu**y. You can do anything."

Unidentified man: "Yeah, those legs, all I can see is the legs."

Trump: "Oh, it looks good."

Unidentified man: "Come on, shorty."

Trump: "Oh, nice legs, huh?"

Bush: "Oof, get out of the way, honey. Oh, that’s good legs. Go ahead."

Trump: "It’s always good if you don’t fall out of the bus. Like Ford. Gerald Ford, remember?"

Bush: "Down below. Pull the handle."

Trump: "Hello. How are you? Hi."

Arianne Zucker: "Hi, Mr. Trump. How are you? Pleasure to meet you."

Trump: "Terrific, terrific. You know Billy Bush?"

Bush: "Hello, nice to see you. How are you doing, Arianne?"

Zucker: "I’m doing very well, thank you. (To Trump) Are you ready to be a soap star?"

Trump: "We’re ready, let’s go. Make me a soap star. "

so in short he's a horrible human being who some might even call him not human and to me I do think he's a human, the worst type man he talks about taking away the fundamental right of freedom and choice every human should have, And it's awful someone like him shouldn't be in office he is narcissistic and trigger happy, At best, he's a criminal; at worst, a despotic tyrant, I and many other women of our nation who aren't clouded and judgment would say that he's the type of man that once woman ride under his heel to kneel and obey at every Conservative command, Oh and one more thing not just to the person I'm replying to but others who might be listening and reading America doesn't speak ONLY English, America doesn't even have an Official languages, America doesn't have an Official religion we are a religious Null zone the freedom of religion, Many Americans believe the United States was founded as a Christian nation but no its founding documents prioritize religious freedom and do not create a Christian nation. those papers created and protected what many of us are fighting to protect today and till the end of our beautifully stupid and complex nation, sons and daughters many of which are fighting to protect free will and everything else that encompasses human birthright to freedom, all human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of siblingship. you all should be ashamed of helping break it. because one thing that dictators never seem to get is that humans have conscious, they're always going to try to make it through whatever their oppressor is putting them through whether that be hiding in self-preservation because they want to live or speaking out and rioting because they also want to live. I just want to say thank you to all of the countries who are supporting us I am so sorry for failing you all even if I couldn't vote as I registered late I am so sorry to for the ones who did vote, for the republicans who failed you all and I Maria am sorry to the fellow democrats who did try but we might not be dealing with everything good Right now but we shouldn't be dealing with it alone, I would just like to say I was born a Christian but I for a long time now have been leaning agnostic because I believe that there is someone watching and helping but I don't believe that I as a human being have the right to give it a name, a gender like what if it already has one that would be disrespectful, and I think that Mr. trump should stop acting like a deity because it's extremely Unprofessional and rude to it, He should step down from the throne he believes is rightfully his before he gets scorched by his own hubris.

sincerely from AMM; anywho thanks for coming to my ted talk

[grigori77]

Critical Role, Campaign 3 Episode 84

Taliesin makes a Bane "Ooooooohhh ..." sound and derails Matt's opening.

Wait, no ad? Oh wait ... they're doing a Speed style Sam advert ... keep reading, Riegel! We don't want to blow up! No! Don't do it, Marisha! You're still so young! It's not worth it!

I jest ... XD

Oh dear ... Marisha has almost been derailed as well after THAT ...

Laura: "We have merch!" She said that in the cutest way possible and I loved it. :3

Guess we'll just have to IMAGINE the Yasha based awesomeness ...

I really CANNOT get enough of those animated titles ... so good ...

Okay, here we go, back to Ruidus ...

So who is THIS then? They seem very cute ...

Friends of the Imperium? Yes? No? Good or bad ... hmmm ... Detect Thoughts? Smart ...

I think he might be getting confused ... hmmm ... Fearne, that seems like a very weird tangent you're going on ... oh, so there IS something going on with his chest? Hmmmm ...

Wait ... is this gonna be like one of those creepy Shadow parasites in Babylon 5?

Dono? Awwww ... "Don't know?" Oh good grief ...

Druidcraft flower ... wait, does he actually KNOW what that actually is?

Whoa ... extra arms? Oh, no ... oh, it's a PET? Some kind of strange Fay creature ... Kaniey? Okay ...

Pate? Oh dear ...

Dreamers? Huh?

Laudna produces her Jrusar theatre card for identification ... oh boy ...

So the Dreamers are just people from Exandria. Okay, makes sense. Cytaa? Hmmmm ... Bormodos. Oh, a symbiotic relationship? Intriguing.

They learned Common through THEIR dreams? Oh, so THEY dream the dreams of Exsandrians ... strange ... also beautiful ...

NSFW ... yeah ... O.O

Capital city? Kreviris? Okay ... centre of the Imperium? Hmmm ...

Entrapment? No ... don't put THAT idea in his head ... Chetney: "Are you a narc?" Oof ...

Wuukors and avadons ... so THOSE are the beasties ...

A dozen Imperium in the town ... on high alert ... pushing them to work harder lately ... yup ...

Elder Barthie? Sounds like the right choice ...

The Weave Mind? Masters of the Imperium ... connects them to THE ONE WHO SLEEPS ... yeah, that would be Predathos ...

Rezora is the town? Got it.

Turning back into clouds ... he's impressed. Cute ... and now he's EXCITED about what he's about? Oh boy ...

Following Dono through the town ... simple place, but it seems quite pleasant and homely too ...

Ah ... military types ... hmmm ... these would be the BAD GUYS, then ...

Know Your Enemy ... go Orym! So these guys are tough, but nothing SUPER major, at least ...

Wow ... Dono is a REALLY bad actor ...

A-ha ... here we go ... smoother than expected, at least ... and they're IN.

Oh, so is the Elder ALREADY onto them? Interesting ... oh, he seems quite sweet, actually ... oh yeah, he clearly knows what's going on ...

Oh boy ... Elder Barthie is basically Jeff Goldblum ... cute ... I love it ... XD

Oh gods, the head ... oh no, Chetney stop that ...

Ah ... yes, tea. This is clearly going to be ... SPECIAL tea ... O.O

He's 300? Okay ...

Oh, so they're a bit like Tolkien's dwarves, then? Cool.

Recent shake-ups? Hmmmmm ... here we go ... the arrival of the Dreamers has become a major disturbance ... interesting ...

Big fat LORE DUMP ...

The Beating Heart, the Dream Keeper ... Predathos by any other names ...

Orym starts growing Druidcraft flowers ... meanwhile Laudna pulls out her ball bearings ... hmmmm ... not sure where THAT'S gonna go ...

The Dominion? Tectus? Hmmmm ...

"Bonobos?" Oh dear ... do not mention the sex monkeys, that can ONLY end in ridiculousness ...

FCG: "We've asked you so many questions! We have a few more!"

Pastries? Oh boy ... here we go ... Chu? Awwwwwwwwww ... :3

Oh man, it TALKS?!!! Fantastic ... and it's SASSY too ...

Laura's dirty mind gets her in trouble, narratively ... XD

Chu calls Chetney "the bushy rat-man" and Ashton loves it.

Chu is a flat Earther ... oh boy ... FCG immediately approves ... clearly Matt is pandering ...

"Worm territory"? Oh dear ...

Willmaster Edmuda? Hmmmm ... apparently she's a nasty piece of work ... lovely ...

Ah, the Volition, yeah ... so they ARE a kind of resistance effort. Great. That's the ticket. Oh, and Bertie has a friend among them? Zhesh? Cool ...

The Treshi ball is still dark ... phew ...

Minor Illusion ... have they seen Ludinus or Otohan? From a distance, apparently ... but not lately ... now Ira ... not him, then. Okay ...

Something of Zhesh's? Oh, are they going to Scry on her? That might work.

Ah yes ... the Flares ... goodie ... the "Beat" of the Heart of the One Who Sleeps ... hmmmm ...

So Imogen wonders if these Flares might help Predathos gain control of the Ruidusborn ... potentially a danger to her and Fearne, then ... hmmmm ... Best watch out for that ...

Laudna: "Do you .. babies?" Oof ... O.O

Matt (As Barthie): "If I could ..." Half the group, together, singing: "TURN BACK TIME!!!" Matt is broken for a few moments ... XD

Good point, IS THERE somewhere to sleep? There's a kind of cellar in this abode. Okay, then.

Working out the next move ...

THERE IS Moon wood! Yay! But not a lot of it ... hmmmmm ... not good for Chetney, then ...

Imogen considers trying a Sending to Zhesh ... hmmmm ...

Someone's coming? On the far side of the village ... causing a bit of a hubbub ... is it a potential problem?

They send Dono to check it out ... okay ...

Imogen reaches out to Zhesh ... she's very subtle about it ... and it DOESN'T cause interference! That's interesting ... she gets a very non-committal answer, but at least she's definitely here.

Imogen mists up to accompany Barthie outside to "see what the commotion is" ... oh wait, someone's already here ...

Crap ... there's a Reiloran at the door. Somebody IMPORTANT, looks like ...

The Willmaster? Shit!

And it's time for a break? NOW?!!! Crap ... WHILE Imogen is transforming, too ... O.O

And we're back ... and proper PANICKING already! AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

Are they visible? Are they rolling for Stealth? Crap ... Matt makes them do it ANYWAY ... it's s bit of a mess, looks like ...

Oh yeah, they're pretty much RUMBLED already ...

FCG just tries to bluff ... and casts Fast Friends? Oh fuck ...

Roll Initiative? Of course it is ... AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

Battlemap! Sweet! Cue Sam plugging Wizzkids!

Oh gods ... I have, like, THE WORST feeling about this ... this is probably going to go HORRIBLY ...

TWO MORE ROUNDS before Imogen can even HOPE to turn back to solid? Balls ...

So, do the run or do they FIGHT?!!!

Orym goes under rhe table then pulls Bait and Switch with the Elder, then just HOLDS ready ...

Laudna casts Hex on the Willmaster, then ... Marisha exclaims "SHIT!!!" several times ... then casts Fireball on her AND the Shrikes?! Oh dear fucking gods ... it's at FOURTH Level? Fuck ... 32 Fireball damage each, with 3 extra on the Willmaster ... ouch ...

Wow ... that causes SO MUCH chaos right out the gate ...

Holy fuck, most of the Vanguard just BREAK on the spot ... XD .. and now Laudna just literally EXALTED one of 'em ...

Shit, so that kid just UPGRADED on the spot and casts Telekinesis on her ... lifting her up OFF THE GROUND!!! Crap!

Chetney casts Blood Curse of Binding on the Willmaster ... which doesn't take! Balls... so he produces and activates Turmoil and casts Shatter on her instead, which she SPECTACULARLY fails to resist, inflicting 30 points of Thunder Damage on her AND others behind her ... oof ...

Ashton immediately RAGES!!! Goes monochrome, so increased gravity as he turns into a MINI BLACK HOLE!!! The Shrike that hrkd its action tries to attack him ... oh, this is going to be VERY interesting ... barely TWO points of damage ... so he casts a Teleportation Pad right under him to punt him right into the animal pen! "FUCK OFF!!!" Then attacks the knewly Exalted one and lands some more serious damage.

The Willmaster is IMMEDIATELY dragged towards Ashton, meanwhile instantly takes psychic control of EVERYONE in the village. Oof ... Jagged Dart? Oh hell ... tosses it at Ashton ... DEFINITELY hits ... 22 points of Force Damage! Argh ...

Fearne cats Charm Person on the Willmaster ... who FAILS to resist! Immediately beckons her back inside the hut, and IT WORKS?!!! Or maybe not? Deception check ... which Ashley completely tanks ... balls ... but at least she thinks SHE'S an ally ...

FCG shoots his grapple at the Willmaster ... 15? It hits? Wow ... damn it, one of the locals just JUMPS IN FRONT OF HER to take it instead! Crap ... so he just ducks up half the damage himself in sympathy ... but they're still hurt! Owwwww ... alive but VERY hurt ...

Orym casts Hex on the Willmaster before attacking for NON LETHAL damage! Nice ... oh, he is BATTERING her hard ... even WITH the Meat Shield? Hmmmm ... two get knocked out in the process ... great ... Action Surge to try and Grapple her head! Thanks to Silvery Barbs from Laudna IT WORKS!!! Sweet! Then an elbow to the face lands more Hex damage! Nice ... she's starting to look ROUGH ...

Sam's flask: "REMINDER! Come up Sith flask idea ..." Oh boy ...

Now Orym's taking attacks ... some of it REALLY HURTS ... then two of them just PHASE out of Ashton's sight ... hmmm ...

Laudna casts Mirror Image on herself ... she's stuck hanging in the air, so unleashes a Ray of Frost on the Willmaster ... half speed now! Nice ... plus 15 Frost damage! ALSO nice ...

The new Exalted pulls Laudna out into the open, then hits her with Blight! Oof ... 33 points of Necrotic damage! Ouch ...

2 of them fire crossbows at Laudna, first misses, second hits! 9 points of piercing damage ... she crit fails her concentration, so she loses her Mirror Image.

Chetney wolfs out snd HEADBUTTS the Willmaster ... instead renders another innocent unconscious ... no more Meat Shield means next hit GETS THROUGH, so 9 points of damage! Phew ...

Ashton charges the Willmaster, Raging Recklessly, hits her with the hammer. 24 to hit! Boom! 22 points of damage and HE GETS THE HDYWTDT!!! POW!!! The Willmaster flues 15 feet and is DOWN!!! Orym rides her doen and lands on top.

Everyone INSTANTLY snaps out of the trance ... so they see the chaos and just SCATTER.

The Shrikes just pause and take a beat to check out their opponents.

Fearne casts Scorching Ray on the fleeing foes and one of yhe Shrikes, takes out the runner, inflicts 9 damage on the Shrike. Then she bamfs out Mister.

Imogen is now entirely MIST. She is now ENTIRELY INCAPABLE of any violence ...

FCG casts Calm Emotions on EVERYBODY he can ... BOTH the Shrikes fail to shake it off. He immediately tells them both to CHILL OUT ... which they do! Crazy ... this is good for a WHOLE MINUTE!!!

Orym turns to the Exalted and flings the Hex at him. Goading Attack! First hit misses, second hits! 19 damage and HE gets the HDYWTDT so the kid is KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT!!! Now he rushes one of the Shrikes and holds an attack, ready for next round ...

The Shrikes are now trying to run off with the unconscious Willmaster ... great ... Orym gets an attack of Opportunity, trips one and puts him on the floor ... Calm Emotions is GONE and now they're focused on him for next turn.

Laudna chucks some Eldritch Blasts at the Shrikes, first misses, other 2 HIT!!! 15 and 14 points altogether, and she just MERCS the first one on the spot! Oof ... HDYWTDT indeed ... he's just pancaked ... she attacks the other one, but all three shots miss him ... nuts ...

The beasts stampede out of their pen and folk ate now getting caught and trampled! Oof ...

Chetney just throws himself in their path and saves one local, then goes for the remaining Shrike and attacks him with Turmoil while he's still prone. Wow ... he just CRITS the poor bastard ... HDYWTDT!!! He just opens the guy RIGHT UP!!! Oof ...

Just the few runners left ... Ashton gets in front of the stampede instead and grabs some of the locals, pulls them out of the path of the herd.

Fearne casts Scorching Ray on the runners, Crits one and hits the other two. 10 on the Crit, then 9 each on the others. Oh dear ... yeah, one of them just gull blown COMBUSTS on the spot ...

Imogen floats up to check out what's going on beyond their immediate battlefield. It's just chaos, but more are coming.

FCG casts Stone Shape and creates a ramp over him and the local he's protecting sk they herd doesn't trample them.

Orym uses Seedling to grapple the remaining runner and knocks him out of the spot.

Everybody scatters out of yhe path of the stampede. Meanwhile Chetney just SUPLEXES one of them down snd starts EATING IT ALIVE on the spot ... dear gods ...

Looks like that's it ... time to clean up while they have a chance. Hiding bodies as quickly as they can ...

And that's it for the night ... phew ... that was chaos, but thank fuck it turned out all right ...

[random-thought-depository]

I've been talking about bonobo-like humans, but I want to talk a bit about another, different speculative evolution divergent hominid species in the same setting, this one tentatively inhabiting a planet orbiting the star 40 Eridani A (the bonobo-like human homeworld orbits Tau Ceti).

They're inspired a bit by the carnivore people from All Tomorrows and by wondering if I could use speculative hominid evolution to make a being kind of like a catgirl (lol).

Some ideas I'm considering for this species:

The catgirl humans (bit of a misnomer, their population presumably has a roughly 50/50 male/female split like ours, but oh well) might have a deeper and possibly older evolutionary commitment to big game hunting than Homo sapiens. I don't see them as pure carnivores; there's big advantages to being able to eat a wide variety of foods and adaptability is a major strength of a human-like species, and I think developing civilization would probably be difficult for a pure carnivore species; not being able to eat from the base of the food chain would be a huge hindrance to supporting dense populations. Plant agriculture was probably the backbone food source for most of their densely populated settled societies, just like it was for most of ours. But they might be more carnivory-inclined than Homo sapiens.

One obvious possible way this could happen is a lot of the plants on the planet they were transplanted to might be poisonous or otherwise inedible or not very nourishing to humans, pushing their ancestors to rely heavily on hunting. This might be combined with a lot of the small animals being poisonous or venomous, pushing hominids even more toward reliance on hunting big animals. This might also have been a factor in bonobo-like human evolution, but presumably the situation on the planet of these catgirl people was worse, pushing them to rely heavily on big game instead of just being more careful and pickier about what plants and small animals they ate.

I'm intrigued by the idea that the catgirl humans got modern human equivalent language ability later than the Homo sapiens line did and more of the evolution of their intelligence preceded modern human equivalent linguistic ability. This might have led to them getting even stronger selection pressure for general intelligence and theory of mind than we did, to compensate for less efficient communication. I got this idea from Charles Stross's take on Elves, but I'd take it in a different direction (I'm thinking less "sociopaths" and more "autistics").

The catgirl humans might have a lot more evolutionary history of needing to operate in prolonged darkness than Homo sapiens, leading to better night vision and/or maybe echolocation and more reliance on senses other than sight. Earth humans can learn how to do a kind of echolocation, seems plausible that a pre-sapiens hominid could figure that out too, and if they had to operate in prolonged darkness once the technique was invented natural selection might start to operate on natural aptitude for it.

One way this might work is for their planet to have a slow rotation rate, so the nights are very long. Another possibility is a high axis obliquity, maybe rotating "on its side" like Uranus, leading to prolonged seasonal darkness over much of the surface. But these would imply harsh conditions with extreme heat and cold, which contradicts the vague vibes-based mental images I've so far developed of this world, which are of a planet with a pleasant climate.

A more moderate possibility is the planet is warm and has a high but not super-high axis obliquity (maybe 35 degrees or so) and a big polar continent, and the ancestors of this species spent a long time confined to the polar continent's habitable fringe until something gave them an opportunity to spread out (maybe an ice age created a land bridge to lands farther from the pole and gave an impetus to move equatorward).

Another possibility that intrigues me is that the planet had a high axis obliquity at some point within the last million years or so, but the axis has since shifted (say, from something like 60 degrees to something like 35 degrees), giving it much more Earth-like conditions today. I've seen the possibility of rapid (in geologic terms) dramatic changes in axis obliquity cited as a possible problem with moonless Earth-like planets, so this might be a neat nod at that.

A change in axis obliquity like that would massively re-arrange the climate, so if I go with that option it would imply this is a planet that's still recovering from a major mass extinction (in David Brin's terminology, a "holocaust world"). However:

It might help if the shift in the axis was relatively slow, occurring over at least tens of thousands of years, so species ranges would have time to shift around as the climate changed. It might also help if much of the planet's land was a single landmass with a long north-south axis, like the Americas. It might also help if the maximum obliquity was relatively moderate, maybe 60 degrees or so, so the equatorial region wouldn't get too cold (it'd be the coolest part of a high obliquity world in terms of average temperature) and could be a refugia for species that couldn't tolerate dramatic temperature variations.

It might also help - kind of - if the high obliquity era was also an era of high orbit eccentricity and one hemisphere got its summer when the planet was at perigee while the other got its summer when the planet was at apogee. In the summer at perigee hemisphere, the changing distance from the sun would accentuate seasonal extremes, and conditions would be very harsh. But in the summer at apogee hemisphere, the changing distance from the sun would moderate seasonal extremes, and conditions might stay relatively pleasant, with moderate year-round temperatures near the equator and cold (and dark) winters but mild summers (with midnight sun) near the pole.

And evolution might happen surprisingly fast sometimes, especially in species that reproduce quickly and have short lifespans (e.g. insects and their ecological equivalents). And if these obliquity variations are a recurring cycle, like our ice ages, life might adapt to them, making them less ecologically destructive than they would be if they happened to a planet like Earth.

I think this could be kind of interesting. You might get a world where e.g. tropical jungles consist mostly of plants with vestigial adaptations to dry and cold seasons that are simply rarely or never triggered in present day natural conditions. Similarly, lots of animals living in warm climates might have a vestigial ability to develop a thick winter coat, which is simply rarely or never triggered in present day natural conditions. A world like this might have an ecology that's noticeably denuded and still recovering from a big disruption, but still have lots of life.

If the planet is presently in a period of moderate obliquity but high orbital eccentricity, it might be in a hemisphere-asymmetric ice age, which might be another interesting alien touch. That would probably be bad for life though, as it'd mean the friendlier hemisphere in periods of high obliquity would become the cold hemisphere in periods of low obliquity. Unless the summer at perigee and winter at perigee hemispheres switched at some point, in which case the really hot summers and really cold winters hemisphere in the high obliquity era might be the heavily glaciated hemisphere now.

[foone]

Ghosts and Baseball

This is me ranting about names for humanity, before turning into a brief sci-fi story about Ghosts and Baseball. From twitter, last year.

Alternative names for humanity along the lines of "Homo sapiens" (Wise man) and "Pan narrans" (Storytelling Chimpanzee) that I'm too lazy to look up/make up Latin for:

chef ape

throwing ape

walking ape

The idea being that we're apparently unique in the animal kingdom in that we cook our food, so we're the Chef Apes. We're also one of the best animals at throwing things: humans have more accuracy and strength when throwing stuff than other apes, by a long shot

And apparently our ability to walk slowly for ages was key to our early survival as persistence predators. We can't outrun a gazelle or mammoth or whatever, but we don't tire easily and so we can just keep following it until it runs out of stamina.

OK I looked it up... maybe we're "Pan basipila": the baseball playing Bonobo

If only baseball had a cooking element, it would be the perfect Human Sport. We need to devise a sport where you cook something, follow someone for a long time, and then throw it at them.

The most human thing is the surprise pie to the face

Also as much as I like Terry Pratchett's suggestion of "Pan narrans" I wouldn't be surprised if we turn out to not be the only animal that tells stories... Elephants. I bet elephants do.

Like, there was that case where an injured elephant went to a ranger station for help. One it had never been to before, but other elephants had. The theory being then that some other elephant had told this elephant "hey if you're hurt, go here, the humans will help".

That, combined with how they have burial rituals (some which might indicate there's an elephant religion!), and that we're working on figuring out how elephants communicate...

It wouldn't surprise me if we learn sometimes in the next decade or two that "oh yeah, elephants tell stories too. They've got FICTION."

So "Pan narrans" isn't what I'd want to bet on as our uniquely human thing. But at the end of the day, maybe the whole idea of there being a uniquely human thing is, in itself, just another story we're telling.

So maybe it is a good fit after all.

But I especially like the idea that we're the Baseball Ape because I have this image in my head of a galactic council of aliens. Some angry alien who looks like Cthulhu had a baby with a spider has the floor, and they're ranting about "why do the Hu-mons deserve a seat?"

The Crogath are stronger, the Eldru are smarter, the Cybernetic Essense lives longer, the Dromans go farther and faster, the Moltriri have us beat in fiction and poetry, what is so special about these damn bipedal fleshbags that makes them unique in the universe?

And then WHAM. Right between the eyes. A handheld translator device, a bit bigger than a modern smartphone, beans the speaker out of nowhere.

And there's an (untranslated) yell in the chamber as the prime representative calls for order.

"WE CAN THROW, MOTHERFUCKER!"

And it's true. even after the World Series becomes the Galactic Series, no non-human team ever manages to win.

The Eldrul Librarians almost make the cut in 2486 but accidentally piss off the ghost of Colonel Sanders and end up inheriting the Hanshin Tigers' curse.

Alien textbooks describe The Colonel as some kind of human patron deity of baseball and cooked avian food, who should not be disrespected at all costs, or his vengeance from his place beyond the grave will be swift and punishing.

(they're right)

"Look, we can't PROVE he was why Gemini Noctis went supernova unexpectedly, but given the protests that had happened right beforehand, and the incredible powers ascribed to the human spirits, do you really want to risk it?"

The funniest possible future: Humanity gets a key place in galactic politics because we're never able to adequately convince the universe at large that our ghost stories are just that, stories, and they're terrified shitless that we'll unleash spectral torment on them.

"Humans? look man, living humans are a pushover. you can easily rip them in half, crack their planets with a quark bomb, their ships are little more than tin cans with a tachyon drive taped on the side. but it's not the living humans you have to worry about... it's the ghosts."

"Humans are a bit like the Nontilek, with a two-stage lifespan, a grub and an adult. What you think of as "adult" humans is just their infant stage, and they only fully transform once they "die". Once fully hatched into Ghost form, their powers are almost limitless."

"You want humans off a colony planet and bomb them from orbit? good luck, now you have a few million ascended humans who can pass through solid matter and can't be killed, and they will never rest until you and your descendants are gone or dead."

"You don't believe me? look at this: One of their most popular stories is about them building an empire that spanned a large chunk of their little planet, then having it MURDER THEIR OWN GOD."

"It only worked for a few revolutions, and he just came back, promising that one day all of them would join him in the next phase of their lifespan. "

"They still, to this day, thousands of orbits later, erect little statues of the means they used to execute their deity."

Not even the Crogathi, who literally worship death itself, tell stories that frightening to their newly hatched grubs.

Humans are scary, man, stay away and just give them whatever they want.

The rest of the alien's education on the dangers of humans is just a selection of human movies: the sixth sense, poltergeist, ghostbusters, the shining, the devil's backbone, and, of course, field of dreams.

Ghosts AND baseball? it's everything they're scared about humans all in one package!

The obvious twist you could do, of course, is simple:

the aliens are right.

Humans are a two-phase species where the elder form has immense power but leaves communication and decision making to the younger form, which will be confused and angry if you acknowledge the presence of their elder-stage members among them.

This often leads to them cutting off contact or their elder-stage members causing immense damage through seeming "accidents" on the contacting vessel. This is believed to be some kind of religious prohibition that they are not able to explain.

so it's official contact protocol to pretend you cannot perceive the elder-stage humans among them, and to give them what they want to avoid possible retribution.

No means to combat elder-stage humans has yet been found, and the limits of their power is not known.

All alien captains are required to study the fate of the SS Ennolon, which contacted a lone human craft in the galactic year of 12,783. They had initiated contact and were getting along fine, until the human showed the Droman captain a picture of their "late father".

Captain Droless, accounting for the difficulty in telling humans apart, then pointed at the father sitting in a chair nearby and said "That is them, correct?".

The human looked at the chair, reacted in confusion, then anger, and asked the contacting crew to immediately leave.

It was another 400 cycles before contact could be reestablished between the Droman Federation and the Human Alliance.

The intergalactic guide describes humans as a powerful race of immortal energy beings who have the strange habit of sending their larvae out on missions around the galaxy, occasionally contacting other races, but refusing to acknowledge their elders, except in stories.

They seem to frequently put their young in dangerous situations without lifting a hand to help, so this is suspected to be some sort of pilgrimage or coming-of-age ritual.

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

Tbh i do think animals like dolphins and elephants and chimps and in some ways bonobos /do/ come close to human sapience! Now tbf this is based of my still-not-a-professional-but-a-devouted-hobbiest research so take it with a grain of salt!

But all 4 of those mentioned animals have some of the biggest examples and signs of emotional intelligence and social intelligence besides humans in the animal kingdom! And 2 to 3(chimps and dolphins are known for this and some studies have shown elephants) show /amazing/ skills in logic and reasoning tests like object permanence and pattern recognition, on top of all this all 4 animals pass the self awareness test(recognizing themselves in a mirror)

The most interesting part in my.opinion is the number of neurons and brain matter "folds" in dolphins brain, which is theorized to be our best way of telling an animals intelligent through the physical brain alone, surpass humans which is something incredibly special in natural science! (Not to be confused for brain size which can't say as much about average species intelligence, but even then dolphins have one of the largest brain to body mass of any animal)

I think, what it comes down to is if these species are as intelligent as us they still have a different set of morals than us. And if they do have the same morals as us an Animal knowing something is wrong, and /choosing/ to do it anyway is arguably and amazing example of intelligence and a level of self awareness comparable to ours

And as said by another person, even if a species /can/ do bad, that means they also have the capacity just like us to do amazingly /good/ things.

The more we learn about dolphins and chimps the more some scientists believe it's like looking into a mirror inteligance and social evolution wise, and that threatens some people both because it implies we are animals just as easily swayed by instinct and survival than any other, and it hits people that every act they see as "evil" being done by a dolphin or chimp, has been done by humans 100x more and 100x worse

Either way, dolphins aren't humans and shouldn't be judged like them and /even if/ you were to judge them like they were, you'd have to take a longer harder look and human society as well [idk if any of this makes sense but I saw an opportunity to talk about mt favorite topics in animal behavior sndjs]

Thank you for your viewpoint and insight. As an animal enthusiast I must agree that the level of intelligence and self-awareness that other animals show is very intriguing and exciting indeed! It’s what drew me to dolphins as a kid in the first place, learning about their intelligence, tool use, social behaviour, etc.. It’s interesting to see that animals that aren’t closely related to us can be so similar to us in many ways, after all! It shows you that humans can’t be separated from other animals just like that, because we’re still animals too — something I should’ve brought up more in my original post, I think. (Though animals are still not people. I don’t think I should have to say it but just in case.)

Anyway, I hope we may discover more about their perception of the world in the future! If we find out for sure that dolphins and chimps and elephants and whatnot know they’re causing harm with their harmful actions yet do them anyway… well, that’d be a bummer. But it would also show us that each good action they do is from the goodness in their hearts and I think that would be very rad indeed. We wouldn’t be the only ones anymore.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #228

J and I did various things today! But it all started with a breakfast place! They sold mostly bagels and sandwiches and such!

I was very enamored by so many things! I ended up getting a donut, and a latke, and some gluten-free cheesy bread, and a bagel sandwich, and one of those yummy-sounding strawberry matcha latte things!!

There's a lot of interesting stuff in this place that we don't find at home! It's exciting to go to new places and try new combinations of flavors as a result! I think on the guava kefir I got yesterday, and my goodness, Sephiroth, it was so good, and I am a little bit sad that we don't have it at home!!

J and I went to the zoo after that. But before we even got to any exhibits, we saw some wild deer:

Both of the babies were apparently very hungry:

...I was kind of alarmed at how comfortable they seemed around humans, actually. It's not like deer to get so close to people. We're supposed to look scary to them because our forward-facing eyes mark us as predators. I hope everything is okay with them.

When we finally got to the rest of the zoo, we noticed that most of the animals were not especially active. And that is reasonable, because it was very hot out. In fact, it was so hot and humid that I used my inhaler as a precaution so that my lungs wouldn't close up as a result of walking around in those conditions. I discovered yesterday, after doing the DDR, that levalbuterol does not make me twitchy and exhausted and weird like regular albuterol. I was pleased to discover that again, today, this stuff kept my lungs from closing up, without any of the weird after-effects! Yay!

Though most of the animals were smart enough to avoid being out and about, I did manage to get a few pictures of some animals that were willing to brave the heat. I wonder if you have anything that looks like these in your world. Here, this is a tiger:

And this is a lion:

You can tell it's a male lion because of the big, shaggy mane! The females look basically the same, but without the mane.

Here's one who is very attached to his bowl:

He picked it up and carried it around, but I wasn't able to get a very good picture of that. Nonetheless, when a lion decides that some bowl is his bowl, then that is his bowl. End of story. No one is fool enough to argue.

Near the lions, there was also this male cardinal who was eerily comfortable with the nearby humans:

...Suppose if you hang near lions all day, humans might not seem especially scary anymore. It's not as though we have the teeth or the claws or the reflexes to catch them.

...It's nice to see a cardinal up close that is not either dying or dead. Good grief... If that never happens again, it'll still be too soon.

Anyway, this is a chimpanzee. On my planet, these and another monkey called bonobos are the closest living relatives to modern humans:

I dunno how it is on your planet, but on my planet, it's theorized that all life descended from a single common ancestor some 3.5 billion years ago. Over the years, because DNA mutates and stuff, things got wackier and wackier as things replicated themselves, until today, and there are millions of different species that all evolved by chance through countless methods of reproduction. The things that survive determine which combinations of DNA work and which ones don't, I guess. And in the end, what you get is many different species that fill different niches as chance dictates which strategies they must use in order to survive.

The finches of the Galapagos Islands are probably one of the best examples. Some generations of birds have differently-shaped beaks. And some years, birds with bigger beaks survive a little better because big seeds are plentiful, and the birds with littler beaks don't do so well because they can't break the big seeds as easily. But then other years, there are more smaller seeds than big seeds, and the birds with the smaller beaks do better, because the ones with the bigger beaks are kinda clumsy with the smaller seeds. It's a vague and woefully incomplete explanation, but I hope you can understand.

Here's a komodo dragon:

It's really just a big lizard. We don't have dragons in my world. None of the wild creatures in my world are nearly as dangerous as the ones in yours.

Here are some turtles. I don't know what kind they are, but they're very cute:

I also got some pictures of bamboo. There was a lot of it here:

We also caught a brief glimpse of a mother and baby gorilla:

These are Przewalski's horses:

...And this is an elephant:

...And finally, we have a sea lion:

Hey, Sephiroth? Have you seen any of these before? I know you don't have horses, but maybe you have any of the rest of these? Or something similar?

...I know you can't answer me. But... I wanted to ask about your thoughts and experiences anyway. Because they count, too. They matter, too. And maybe you can think about some of the neat things you've seen while you were out and about, and remember how cool they were.

I went back to Otakon after this. And J went to some airport museum called The College Park Airport, because he likes airplanes. And that was pretty neat. I saw the developers and the voice actors who are weaving your story together. They spoke on so many things! Once again, all the people had so many amazing questions, to which there were equally amazing answers! I loved getting to see all the joy and excitement and gratitude both in the crowd and on the stage!

Lots of the folks on the stage got emotional and began to cry, and it was a beautiful thing. I tried putting my hands together to make a little heart symbol at them. I don't know if any of them saw it, because there were so many people, and I am just one of them, and I am not especially noticeable or important. But still, I wanted to try to show my empathy and support in whatever small ways I could. I wanted to try.

I found Teruki Endo's emotions and John Eric Bentley's emotions to be particularly moving; it was hard to keep my own lips from trembling and my own eyes from leaking in response. It evoked a beautiful feeling inside of me. It was beyond wonderful to see these amazing people bring their truest and most vulnerable selves to this place, and to share that with us. I feel so proud of them both for their courage.

Tomorrow is the last day. I thought I might try to go see the lovely developers at their autograph table, and to try to clumsily thank them in Japanese for everything they do. I hope that they can know that they're important to me as people, not just for their connection to you. I don't know what sorts of life experiences they've had or where they've been or what they've done to have become people who can weave a story as beautiful as yours together in the way that they do. But they have become these people, and that will always be awe-inspiring.

I don't have to know them well to understand that they've been through hardship and pain and loss and frustration and fear and so many other things in order to get to where they are today. I don't have to know them well to be proud of them for enduring it all, and for choosing to shine in the way that they do. Together, they touch millions of lives, and make this world a better place for it. I think of the sheer number of lives that have been saved thanks to these people, and I hope they understand what a huge impact they have on this world.

Well anyhoot. I suppose I should wrap this up. It'd be wise for me to go to sleep soon, in preparation for tomorrow.

I love you. And I hope that's clear, in all my words and images and all the other things I try to show and teach you about.

I'll write again soon. Stay safe, okay?

Your friend, Lumine

[urcadelimabean]

Absolutely no one:

Me: every mammal has a clitoris (and so do many non-mammals such as crocodiles and many bird species). In many extinct as well as extant mammals, sexual stimulation of the clitoris caused/causes ovulation. When one species of male bat performs oral sex on the female before and after penetration, he is allowed to copulate with her for a longer period of time, prompting us to ask how the clitoris and behaviors of stimulating it are an evolutionary benefit. Animals such as bonobos and dolphins engage in clitoral stimulation. Now we look at humans... Humans do not talk about the clitoris at all. Many erroneously think it's vestigial. The shape of the penis is plastered everywhere from graffiti to medical textbooks, even brought up frequently in conversation through jokes, whereas virtually no one, including medical professionals, can even recognize the full wishbone shape of the clitoris when shown it. Clitoral anatomy is a footnote in medical texts. Many men would, for some reason, prefer it if women could come without clitoral stimulation. Try telling a man you'd like him to come without any penile stimulation. Everywhere we are told that by dressing sexy women are "embracing and exploring their sexuality." I will never aim to shame women for their dress or behavior and believe that doing so is extremely damaging and unfeminist. However we need to discuss the social pressures women face to perform sexiness for men and the alarming fact that the clitoris is suspiciously absent from virtually all discussions of women "exploring their sexuality." This is because women are not yet encouraged to explore their sexuality in an authentic female -centered way. Female sexuality is viewed through a male lens, in which the penis and vagina, rather than the penis and clitoris, are the cites of sexual function. (When women do orgasm from penetration, it's due to the stimulation of the internal clitoris.) People describe the clitoris as phallic. On one hand, it is undeniably homologous to the penis, with all the same erectile tissues, capable of erection. On the other hand, for too long the clitoris has been thought of as male when it is not. For trans men and non-binary people the clitoris is not female, but for cisgender women, how can we possibly continue to view the clitoris as male in nature simply because its homologue is the penis? The scrotum is homologous to the labia, yet we do not view the scrotum as a female structure in cisgender men. The clitoridectomy of women in the minds of men is so complete that they have even come up with the notion of "penis envy," a concept which just makes no sense to a woman who knows her body and finds joy in stimulating her clitoris. If anything, we should be discussing, perhaps, the way men feel threatened by women orgasming without the need for penetration, and the misogynistic sex-shaming culture that has caused us to be so universally silent on the subject of the clitoris. I haven't even covered yet the glorification of the penis versus the idea that vulvas are dirty and ugly. There's even a trend now to shame women for having a certain shape of labia minora. (You can get labiaplasty from surgeons that don't know where clitoral nerves are. They may sever them, ending your sexual function.) Women feel vastly less confident asking for oral sex than men despite it being the only way many women can orgasm. Yes, men are shamed for having small penises. And how is that judgement supposed to reflect on the small external glans of the clitoris? Is the "size matters" philosophy another reason men don't want to acknowledge the sheer size of the internal clitoris, that actually extends from the glans to the vagina, partially surrounding the vaginal opening? Really, the size of the organs shouldn't matter at all: the people they are attached to matter. Their pleasure matters. Their bodies matter. Their experiences are equally as important as men's experiences. The clitoris is as important as the penis.

[is-the-primate-vid-cute]

how much free contact do you think is appropriate with large vs. small primates? (in a zoo/sanctuary/fieldwork setting, not as an exotic “pet” obv) i see some researchers who are in free contact with chimps/orangutans but from a distance; but at zoos/sanctuaries they’re pretty much always in protected contact. and what about for small monkeys? for them it seems to vary a lot from facility to facility. protected contact is basically universal for a lot of animals now but for primates it seems less standardized. thank you! love your blog so much

There is a lot of variation in terms of what level of contact is deemed appropriate for professionals working with primates, and the safety of all involved must be the top priority.

Oftentimes the larger a species is, the more caution and physical barriers there are. Using rubricks like size is smart because it is obejctive, easily observable, and overall a good starting point. For example, at the Toronto Zoo I saw a keeper in the lemur enclosure, cleaning with a hose and broom while the ring tailed lemurs went about their regular lives. I have a feeling that the same would not happen with the gorillas, and they would be shifted indoors before anyone went in their habitat.

Besides size, how territorial a species or individuals are is an important factor. I would much rather be in an enclosure with a group of capuchins than a troupe of Japanese macaques, for example. Any time the habitat is enclosed more caution is taken, as space is limited and the chance of an animal feeling threatened may be higher.

I would say that my main consideration in determining how much contact is appropriate is primarily how much contact is necessary. Sanctuaries such as Lola ya Bonobo, Tacugama Chimpanzee Rescue, and Borneo Orangutan Survival have a lot of person-to-ape contact because their work necessitates it. Orphaned ape infants need direct contact with their caregivers, and appropriate boundaries are still established such as introducing the orphans to other and older members of their species and rotating staff so they don't become too attached. Additionally, direct contact is severely limited with adults of the species because it is not necessary and can be a risk to the safety of human caregivers, even if the ape means no harm. In the past I have likened chimp strength to if you were play wrestling with a friend and accidentally ripped their arm off, as even if adults are affectionate or playful they can hurt you. An adult orangutan that recognizes their previous caregiver and decides to solicit a piggyback ride, for example, would not be good.

This will always vary as every primate (including humans) are individuals. Some professionals that work with primates are willing to take the risk of close contact with adult apes, but it is standard practice to keep distance and barriers in between species. My rule of thumb when it comes to close contact is "could affection/an inner-species interaction from this animal hurt me?" As I am aware that me participating in a gorilla play wrestle could be fatal, where a howler monkey jumping on me wouldn't hurt.

As we emphasize often the chances of you being hurt unprovoked by a primate are low, but having a standard that emphasizes caution is the best practice. It is easy to fall in love with the animals you spend time with, and keeping a barrier serves as good protection and a reminder that you should stay vigilant and careful even with your best friend from another genus. -mod J

Another thing to consider is the history of the animal. Wild or properly reared primates are much safer in free contact than ex-pets or other animals who were inappropriately handled from a young age. The reason for this is wild animals retain some fear of humans, even in spaces where human-primate contact is common like macaques in cities. These macaques don't tend to want to be near the humans for the humans sake but do for the food and will not willingly be captured, cornered, or touched by humans (unless they were trained to for entertainment purposes). Pets or even sometimes lab animals who weren't given proper social lives during their primary years tend towards aggression and frustration due to the pain and confusion these situations can cause in primates. These animals will also actively choose to act out their aggression towards humans even in protected contact. It's not uncommon to have an animal reach through bars or fences to attempt to grab keepers, throw things at the barriers, hide (sneak tactics can indicate defensive aggression), self harm while making eye contact with keepers, and other indications of distress that convey aggression.

Additionally, a monkey or ape who was inappropriately reared would know these things: 1. Humans like me and I can get my hands on strangers very easily. 2. I am stronger than humans and can take what I want.

Wild or properly reared primates won't know this and don't tend to attempt aggressive contact unless it's absolutely necessary.

-mod E

[patricide1885]

I have been confused about my sexuality because heterosexuals exist, but if they didn't exist I wouldn't be confused about my sexuality. If heterosexuals don't like something it's their mystical SEXUAL ORIENTATION(tm), whereas if I don't like something it's like me not liking pickles.

How do straights and gays exist when we exist is what I want to understand. We're like different species. They're an animal that has a very specific mating ritual that they follow biologically every time while I'm over here a whole ass bonobo. It doesn't make sense!

I keep looking for the gay and the straight orientation in me as if I am a biologically altered version of a straight or gay man (or woman, depending on how my internalized transphobia is doing) and must just have both orientations somehow in a very specific way for a very specific reason. As if I must find what my "actual" orientation is in the way people look at intersex people and try to decide which sex they are an "imperfect" form of. They don't exist in me! I might as well invent new genders based on my attraction to others. The difference between a men of different traits is as big to me as the difference between men and women. If I'm into men I feel I should be ultimately into all men as if they have some common underlying trait that my biology responds to. Not so.

Straights and gays have confused me about my sexuality too much to where it feels odd to just accept what is in front of me as it is, I feel it must be something else than what it is. The reality of my sexuality is just too convenient for a humanist view of the world, and everyone keeps telling me I'm wrong.

[digitalagepulao]

Monkey Technology at Huaguoshan

So, I've been musing on just how much the monkeys would be capable of achieving when it comes to technology. We know that Wukong taught them a whole lot, but what could they do before their naturally born sage brought all his learning? This is mostly me rambling about stuff that comes off my head and from my own experiences and learning.

Tool use and crafting

We are well-aware of tool usage among the great apes/homonids (aka humans, chimpanzees, gorillas, orangutans and bonobos, as well as extinct hominins like neanderthals and homo habilis), and for convenience's sake I'll give the fantasy monkeys the same skills. Wukong is credited as teaching them how to sharpen wood and bamboo for knives and spears, so crafting tools might have been out of their wheelhouse. So we have to work with basic, naturally occuring tools, like sharp stones and sticks as they are found. To further this point, that should include mortal and pestle tools, as all you need is a concave rock and another stone or even wood to grind things with.

Fire

This one is a bit dicey. Wukong isn't given explicit credit for teaching firecraft, but the novel does make mention of them burning incense and offerings. We can always handwave these deets as stuff monkeys learned by watching humans as animals often seem to do in the novel, but they aren't quite told to make use of it until Wukong returns and makes a proper kingdom out of Water-Curtain cave. So on this one, I'll just say it's something that they've known how to do for a while, but had very little reason to put that particular skill to work until Wukong came along.

Claywork

Since we established they know how to craft fire, next comes what to do with that fire! And first things that come to mind is cooking and claywork. Again, they only seem to cook food after Wukong's leadership, so on to clay. Clay is quite easy to mold and then burn, but it would take seeeeveral attempts to get the heat management right and learn what makes pottery crack in the kiln. As for glazes, they can be a happy coincidence! Depending on the process and time during firing, when the oven is opened, one can find the inside walls with a luster of ash that melted into glaze, and it's pretty neat! Natural glazes can be made by processing wood ash, which again takes some time to learn on their own but not impossible.

Textiles

The monkeys are described as being able to weave grass mattresses, and then later Wukong teaches them to make flax, which is a way more involved process in itself. Now we're on more dicey ground, as textiles take quite a bit of refined precision grips that most tree-dwelling primates aren't capable of anatomically. I'll probably go off about monkey anatomy at some other time, so we'll handwave that one to fantasy rules too.

Winemaking

We got plenty of mentions of coconut wine and other drinks at Huaguoshan's feasts and celebrations, but how did the monkeys get to wine? Animals in nature have been noted to indulge in recreational drugs, including fermented fruits, simply for the joy of it. A notable example is cedar waxwings indulging in fermented berries and needing to be picked out of walkways by kind humans so nobody trips on them. And most notable of all, humanity has had a long history with fermented foods and drinks. Coconut wine takes a bit of processing to be well, wine. This could have been learned over time but again, the monkeys never had much need to perfect this knowledge or put it to much use until Wukong's reign. Making wine is kind of hard when you don't have proper shelter to regulate temperatures, and his discovery of Water-Curtain cave is notable for sparing the monkeys the whims of weather and seasons. So we have shelter, but what about vessels? Water-Curtain cave is said to have all the necessities of life within, including stone dishware, so it's safe to say they had access to stone vases and pots, plus we've discussed claywork, so monkey-made glazed pottery is also a possibility. And we also covered fire, so the process of heating and cooling mashes for fermenting is also checked off the list.

Incense making

The monkeys are described to practice religion to some extent, offering prayers and burning sacrificial livestock to the gods, so one would imagine they'd stretch that worship to burning incense. Incense can be as easy as scraping off aromatics over simmering coals, which is absolutely within their scope to do, but things like incense sticks might take some learning. Getting the dust fine enough to be kneaded and then rolled or extruded is quite a labor without more complex tools than a mortar and pestle, but that's work they might be able to invest in during Wukong's reign at Water-Curtain cave.

Medicine

Now this one is a wee bit tricky. If we're keeping simply to usage of medicinal herbs, then we have multiple cases of great apes using foraged ingredients to heal themselves and even teaching the right way to consume them to their young. If we stretch this to say, poultices and infusions, that feels like a reasonable leap to make given all the other things they seem capable of thanks to basic tool use. For more say, complex things like major injuries and sickness might be touch and go. Usage of tools like splints, sutures and cauterizing are more on the lane of homonini (aka humans and our closest extinct relatives) and I think this is something they'd need to learn from humans how to go about it. If Wukong also brings with him knowledge of traditional healing ie. acupuncture, Tui na, and more complex medicine mixtures, then the monkeys' lifespan is gonna get much longer. And since he goes out of his way to protect his kin from King Yama's rule and shares immortal wine and peaches freely with them, that's definitely something he would do.

Art

Talk about a large category, eh? Art can be any number of things, but I wanna focus on their technical capabilities and their sense of aesthetic appeal. Art has been a homonin trait for a long long time, with recent studies suggesting all the way back to Homo naledi, who lived during the middle Pleistocene. Anything from dragged fingers across mud and clay, slashes on rock, and of course the well-known cave paintings, can be easily assigned to them as they had basic tools available. The monkeys are also described as capable of dancing and playing music during Wukong's reign, so it's unknown if these are skills they already have or were taught over time by him, or if it's something that they just had the time to devote to at that time. I'm going to take that as a little of column A and column B. As for aesthetic appeal, we know great apes as well as other animals do have a sense of what is "beautiful", as well as have their individual preferences. What exactly monkeys will find appealing is definitely up for debate, but while they might take cues from humans through observation, they're capable of their own experimentation at their own time and leisure. Accessories, face and body painting, carvings, and drawings would be fairly common sights among the monkeys, and likely very prized possessions and gifts.